


ghosts that we know

by helenblackthorn



Series: ghosts [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 00:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4414238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenblackthorn/pseuds/helenblackthorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Helen comes home to a broken family</p>
            </blockquote>





	ghosts that we know

**i.**

Although he had lived there for just a little over 17 years, Julian never quite knew what to expect whenever the doorbell to the Los Angeles Institute rang. Usually it was curious mundanes unsure of what to think of the old church on the hill overlooking the beach - or, though it very rarely ever happened, it was the occasional group of teenagers looking for trouble. Several times, in the days after they had returned home from Alicante after the war, anyone who had ever approached the Institute raised the alarm bells in Julian’s head and during those times he could always see his parabatai’s shoulders tense as well. It had left a sour memory in his mind for some time but, eventually, it had passed.

Julian sighed and heaved himself up from his chair, closing the new sketchbook Clary had gotten him for his birthday that spring. A majority of the Blackthorn’s, plus Emma, Cristina and her cousin Jaime, were gathered around one of the Institute’s living rooms - and none of them had made move to go answer the door; not even Mark, who had only been home for a good month and a half, and was currently occupied in a glaring contest with Jaime from across the room. Usually answering was left up to Uncle Arthur, but at the time he had gone to attend a couple Council meetings in Alicante with Diana. 

“Don’t worry, guys. I got it.” He mumbled, ruffling Drusilla’s hair teasingly as he passed by. When he turned to look over his shoulder to laugh at her huffing and puffing, he caught Emma smile at him from where she sat with Cristina on the couch. Hand rubbing at the back of his neck, he smiled back. It was contagious, though recently his  _parabatai’s_  smiles had been making his stomach flip uneasily and he had no idea why. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He had the slightest idea, an idea that he couldn’t risk acting on and an idea he couldn’t mention to his older brother for advice lest he get in trouble. Just flirting with the thought was dangerous as it was.

When he reached the door two flights of stairs later, hand curling around the doorknob to yank it open, a dry - repeated - retort was already leaving his mouth. It never finished. Julian stopped short mid-sentence at the sight before him, lips parted in ill-concealed disbelief. Standing in front of him, fist raised as if it had been reaching to knock for the door, was not some random curious mundane nor was it a group of rebellious teenagers.

It was  _Helen_.

It had been a little over five years since Julian had seen her in person (despite having seen her at her and Aline’s wedding about six months back; that was only for a day that had ended too soon) - when he had been small and stick thin with arms that might have resembled twigs. While they all skyped occasionally, and Emma, Livvy and Dru were almost constantly calling her for one reason or another, the computer screen did not do seeing his sister face-to-face justice. His big sister looked just as beautiful and almost as young as she had when he’d last seen her, a shaky smile on her face and tears brimming her eyes. Her hair was longer now, falling in light blonde ringlets over a floral scarf, all the way down to her waist. It had seemed the only  _real_  difference between them now was the fact that Julian had grown both in size and strength, and while Helen was fairly tall - now he was taller. 

“By the Angel,” he murmured, his voice so quiet he would have been surprised if she could hear him at all. It seemed like it was only yesterday he had been saying the same thing when they had brought Mark home, and Julian was overwhelmed with emotion. Happiness, excitement, disbelief and relief all at once. There were no words that he could think of to say - and he didn’t need to. No sooner had the words left his mouth, he threw himself into his big sisters arms like he had when he was just a little boy, arms constricting tight around her. Afraid to let go, like if he did she would disappear on them again and he would never get her back.

And Helen held on to him just as tightly, embracing her little brother with a choked laugh.

“How are you here right now?” He asked, the question a whisper against his sister’s hair, “I thought it was against the law to visit.”

“I’m not here to visit,” Helen responded, pulling away but keeping him at arm’s length, her hands rested on his shoulders. The look in her eyes told him that she was studying him; taking in how different he looked since they’d last seen one another, how stressed and worn he looked. Julian wondered if she could smell the nicotine on his clothes or in his hair. He doubted she would lecture him but stern looks weren’t very welcome either. His brow furrowed. And then he remembered, the realization sinking in. The frequent phone calls over the past week between her and Uncle Arthur – who was clearly hiding something from them all, going back and forth from Los Angeles to Alicante for Council meetings. Before he had the chance to say anything, Helen continued with a relieved smile, “They lifted my exile, Jules.”

“So you’re here to stay?” Julian pressed excitedly, that feeling of joy swelling in his chest making him feel like a two year old who had just found an enormous pile of Christmas presents under the tree. At her affirmative nod he squeezed her into another tight hug she didn’t seem to be expecting, “Helen, this is  _great!_  We all missed you so much. The kids, they’ll be so excited – and  _Mark_!”

She pulled away again, her expression unreadable. “Mark…Mark is home?”

_Oh_.  _Right_. Although Helen had been calling consistently these last few weeks none of the younger Blackthorn’s had much of a chance to talk to her – to break the news that they had Mark returned home safely after settling a deal with the Faeries. And, over the past couple of months, skype calls and conversation between all of them had been somewhat limited for whatever unknown reason. Julian suddenly felt very guilty for not having the time to at least let her know what had been going on, and though his lips parted to speak he had absolutely no idea how to explain himself for it, but before he got the chance to say anything someone spoke up behind him and beat him to it.

“Yes,” they said, “I’m home, Elle.”

Julian spun around in surprise. “Elle” was a nickname only one person in their family called her, for one reason or another. Mark was standing in the doorway of the Institute, one of his callous hands gripping the wooden frame, but his eyes would not meet Julian’s. He took a step back and glanced between the two of them; Mark and Helen had always looked very similar, from their blonde hair to their pointed ears and the stunning faerie-influenced shape of their faces (that had once made Livia jealous, so he was told, though he wasn’t sure why), but Julian thought now that the resemblance between them could easily pass them as twins even though Mark was two whole years younger. His brother didn’t look as collected as his voice had sounded. The Wild Hunt had taken away a part of his brother that would take time to get back, but Julian could swear he saw a flicker of it in his eyes again. Helen just looked like she was going to start crying again.

Five whole years without a speck of contact between them. Julian felt like he was interrupting, like he did sometimes when he walked into the library and Livvy and Ty were sitting at one of the tables surrounded by books, his little sister listening intently as her twin rambled on about Sherlock or whatever nonsense he was studying. He rubbed a hand at the back of his neck and stood off to the side, his excitement lingering still.

He couldn’t wait until the other’s found out about this.

-

Mark’s throat felt so tight he could hardly speak. For a moment, after Julian had stepped away, he felt he could do nothing but stare in thinly veiled disbelief. When Mark had returned home from the Wild Hunt and after being surrounded by his siblings he had asked them where Helen was, why she wasn’t there to welcome him back like the others. Mark had mistaken their silence and downcast eyes, a brief few minutes of overwhelming panic that something had happened – that she had died in the Dark War, maybe, and the Hunt hadn’t collected her soul because her loyalty lied among the Shadowhunter’s instead – before Ty explained her banishment. Though relieved that she was still alive, even if they could never see each other in person again, he had still felt like he had lost his big sister, his  _best friend_  since they were tiny balls of blonde energy, forever.

And yet there she was, standing a mere five feet in front of him, and he couldn’t even bring himself to move.

Which, he realized shortly after, was probably a good thing. After a few short seconds of silence Helen burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him off his feet. Mark choked out a laugh of relief and held his sister close, his eyes closed and a hand at the back of her head. He remembered when he had first arrived back in Los Angeles, the feeling that he had gotten when he had seen all of his siblings again. It had been a feeling so powerful it had brought tears to his eyes, a crushing wave of complete relief; and as he clutched at his sister Mark could feel it hitting him again. The Wild Hunt had given him a sense of freedom, made his time back with the Shadowhunter’s tense and awkward – the only thing that had truly felt right to him was being with his family, and now he had them all back again.

“Where’s Aline?” Julian questioned after they released each other, and Mark did not have to use his fey senses to see the lingering excitement wavering off of him. He could not sit still, rocking on the heels of his socked feet and absentmindedly chewing at his nails. Mark was nearly tempted to grab his wrist and yank his hand away from his mouth lest he make himself bleed.

“Aline’s in Idris visiting her parents, she should be coming back with Uncle Arthur sometime tomorrow.” Helen answered, gingerly wiping at the tears on her cheeks and smiling. “We do have a honeymoon to finish planning, after all. I wish you could have been at the wedding, Mark. If we’d only waited a couple months –“

Mark squeezed her shoulders and shook his head. While he could admit that he wished he had been there as well, to see his sister off to the love of her life (perhaps even walk her down the aisle, because their father was no longer around), he was more relieved that she had finally found some happiness through her exile. “No one was sure when, or if, I would be coming back. I suppose you’ll just have to settle with showing me pictures.”

“Where are you planning to go?” Jules asked not a second later, hands stuffed in his pockets. His little brother seemed a bit disappointed at the idea that Helen was going away again. He couldn’t blame him.

“Somewhere warm, definitely. For a while we talked about spending time in Turks and Caicos,” She shrugged, then, seemingly noticing the falling expression on Julian’s face, was quick to add: “but for now I just want to be here with all of you. Our honeymoon can wait, that’s the only thing the two of us have been absolutely sure of.”

No one was given the chance to answer her. Only seconds after she had finished explaining that she was planning to stay in Los Angeles, much to Julian’s (and Mark’s) apparent relief, had the rest of the Blackthorn’s and Emma appeared in the doorway. Drusilla shrieked in delight and ran to attach herself at Helen’s waist, the others not far behind her – even Ty, who settled with a one armed hug and a small, twitch of a smile before he’d shrunk back against the wall beside his twin. Mark hung back and watched them all with a grin, one hand resting on Julian’s shoulder. He would find time to catch up with her later, he thought, when the tears all subsided and when nobody was buzzing with emotion.

That time did come, the next morning. The excitement was, of course, still present and the Blackthorn’s and Rosales had dedicated the morning and afternoon to the shores of the Palisades.

Despite what many assumed, Mark enjoyed the beach. It was the serenity that attracted him (if you didn’t count for how loud his family and their friends were), though in truth he would have much preferred the tranquility that came from the pages of his books instead. But when he got the chance of privacy, to sit himself at one of the rocks near the ocean like he immediately went to do the moment he got the chance that morning, overlooking the Pacific and the smell of the sand and the salt water was all very relaxing. Helen, who was happy to finally be in warm weather again, he imagined, joined him after a short while. They sat in a comfortable silence, and it was a few minutes before anyone spoke.

“Isn’t it crazy?” She asked him, leaning back on her hands and eyes never straying from the ocean. “How much they’ve all changed.”

Mark hummed in agreement, his gaze wandering to their younger half-siblings as they lounged and fooled around on the beach a little ways away from them. His lips pulled into a teasing grin. “You have changed too, you know. You look old.”

Helen nudged him very sharply in the ribs with her elbow, throwing him a playful glare. “Oh shut up, I do  _not_.”

She didn’t. But, as it was his duty as her brother, Mark would of course never tell her that he thought so. Relentless teasing was just a part of the job description – it felt good to familiarize himself with it again. Teasing his siblings, something he had always done since before he was taken to the Wild Hunt. It felt normal to act like his old self, like nothing had changed. And that of course wasn’t true, despite recent events. _Everything_  had changed.

“All of us together again is reminding me of what it used to be like,” He commented after a moment of comfortable silence, rubbing at his ribs where she had hit him, “it is like a window to the good memories, ones I had almost forgotten in the land under the hill. It makes me feel like I’m…myself again.”

“Good,” she responded. She wasn’t looking at him, and her voice was void of any emotion that he could decipher. Mark hated not being able to tell what she was thinking sometimes when she seemed to read people so easily, even without using her fey senses. A larger wave crashed into the rock they were sitting on, catching their dangling feet and ankles and spraying the pair of them with sea mist. They flinched back, but otherwise did not get up to move. “You deserve to be reminded of all the good memories of the past, and you deserve to make new ones. Better ones, that you’ll remember when you’re old. I’m not going to act like I know what it was like for you there, and I’m not going to ask, but I know what forced distance from the people you love could do to a person. It’s a dark place.” Helen sighed, kicking off a piece of seaweed that had wrapped around her foot before turning her head to meet his mix-matched gaze. “I can see it’s still there whenever I look at you.”

“It is not easy to get rid of. That darkness – it’s in all of us now.” Mark said, “Emma will not touch the water and Jules bites his fingers bloody when he isn’t smoking. The twins are plagued with nightmares and Drusilla is hardly the talkative sister I remember her to be. You were cast away. You’re home now but the banishment has broken you, I can see it like you can see me. In the Wild Hunt I felt free. Free from the judgment of the Shadowhunter’s –“

“You say that like you aren’t one.” Helen interrupted with a vague indigence.

“I’m a hunter, Elle.”

“No, you aren’t.” Anybody else would have been surprised at how much a 23 year old could sound like a reprimanding mother. But Helen had been one for years to him and their siblings before the Clave had exiled her (and maybe even then, distantly somehow, but Mark did not know). “You spent years riding with the Wild Hunt, yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that you grew up training to become a Shadowhunter. Dad raised you and me as Nephilim, and we have been our whole lives. That’s something that the Huntsmen can’t take away from you.” She grabbed his hand, the one with the voyance rune etched across his knuckles. “You’re home. You might want that freedom still – Hell, I can’t really blame you. But you’re no less a Shadowhunter than I am.”

“Has anybody ever told you that it’s annoying when you’re always right?” He questioned, his eyes on the sea. The waves rolled into the rocks that surrounded them, and between their thunderous roars and the seagulls overhead, the commotion of their half-siblings and the Rosales was nearly drowned out. Helen gave a short laugh but said nothing more. Mark sucked in a deep breath of air through his nose and turned to see what the others were doing. Cristina caught his eyes and with a shy smile, waved. He smiled back at her, ignoring the way Jaime was glaring at him not far behind her.

“That Jaime boy,” Helen began, and when he looked over she was grimacing at the man in question, “what’s his problem with you?”

“I don’t think he likes that I’m home,” Mark shrugged, running a hand through his damp hair. “Jaime is close-minded and biased. I don’t like him as much as he does not like me. Arguing with him is a waste of oxygen, I’d rather not acknowledge him at all.”

His sister made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat, leaning back on her hands again. “His cousin doesn’t seem to share his opinion, though. She’s cute. Do you like her?”

“You’re starting to sound like Livvy and Dru,” he rolled his eyes and, despite himself, Mark felt the pointed tips of his ears turn red in mild embarrassment. His two younger sisters had hounded him about it several times before. Mark’s standing with Cristina was something that he had flirted with often but hadn’t ever  _seriously_ considered. She was one of the few people outside of his family that he felt he could open up to, and with that trust he did find her attractive, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to be involved in anything deeper than a friendship with her. Or anything deeper than a physical relationship with her either, he thought guiltily. “I haven’t figured that out yet. I am not…interested in being in a relationship.”

“Oh. Well if you decide you ever need advice or just…anything, you know where to find me,” Helen said, “that’s one thing that hasn’t changed. I’ll always be here to talk if you need me, just like how we used to.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, unable to find any other words to express his gratuities. Mark hadn’t realized how much he had missed having conversations with his sister like this – ones that could be both deep and meaningful, but also silly and casual at the same time. It was a good feeling, knowing that if he wanted, he could talk to her about anything at any time; about things he would never truly feel comfortable enough sharing with his younger siblings. It was just a bond that they had shared since they were little: unexplainable, but somehow something much understood. Helen had been (and always will be) Mark’s best friend. Sometimes that was one of only a few things that he was absolutely certain of anymore.

“Speaking of girls,” Helen smiled and stood, “my  _wife_ should be coming back from Alicante any minute, and I need to shower before we go out for lunch. Please don’t forget anything that I just told you, okay?”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” she breathed, and then leaned down to press a quick, but affectionate kiss to the top of his head and playfully ruffle his damp hair. “I’ll talk to you later, Marky.” She hopped down from the rock without another word and bounded off to the Institute overlooking Point Dume, where Aline would undoubtedly be meeting her soon. Mark had looked over his shoulder to watch her go with a small smile but was quick to return his attentions back to the ocean before him, a swell of fondness in his chest. It had been a long time since Mark had felt so light. And it was an old feeling he could most certainly get used to again.

-

“You’re doing it again.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Livia sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, a vague flicker of annoyance in her eyes as she stared down at her twin. Tiberius was seated at the desk in their bedroom just in front of the window, surrounded by old notes that she had thought he’d thrown away long ago. He never really did get over the loss of his bee friends, she thought, not if he was still pouring over information he had taken from them from when he was only nine or ten years old. “You’re shutting me out. I thought you would be happy about this. This is something that we’ve all wanted ever since we came home from Alicante. We’re all here together again – so why are you digging your nose in your books and ignoring it?”

Anybody else would have assumed that Ty didn’t listen to a word that she was saying. He didn’t move from his seat, didn’t lift his head from his notes; not a single indication that he was even paying attention. But Livia knew that he was: if not for the fact that he always listened to her, but by the way his shoulders lifted with tension. He didn’t say a word, and with her frustration rising she didn’t bother to hold back from continuing. “I understand that your research is important to you, Ty, but you locked yourself away when Mark came home and now you’re doing it again. And that’s something that I can’t wrap my head around.” That was hard to admit, but it was the truth. She  _always_  understood her brother, or at least she tried very hard to. There were some things, however, that she didn’t get and probably never would. That was just the way it was with him and she couldn’t blame him – wouldn’t dare to. Ty was wired differently, everyone knew it, and it was as frustrating as it was remarkable.

Finally, Ty responded. He took a deep breath and turned to face her, his eyes two void pits of swirling gray. “You said that we were all together again. That’s not true.”

“Helen and Mark are home, Ty! After all these years without them here! Mark’s been home for over a month and Helen’s been for nearly a week now!”

“I know that,” he deadpanned, “and I’m happy. But you would be a fool to think that our family is truly back. It never was, after the Dark War, and it never will be. Not even if every single one of us sat in the same room together at this very moment. Something will always be missing. Someone will always be missing. The Blackthorn’s died five and a half years ago in that war, and we’re nothing but ghosts in their place. You don’t have to understand fully however you cannot deny that. Don’t tell me we’re all here. I hate lies.”

She drew her bottom lip in between her teeth and stared at her twin, struggling to find an answer and hold the weight of his words on her shoulders. This conversation was treading in dangerous waters and she knew it, but she couldn’t allow herself to back down. Livvy thought about her father every single day since he passed without fail. She missed the way he used to smile at them all and how he would hold her tight and tell her she was safe if she had a bad dream. How he made horrible jokes over breakfast and dinner (it was a wonder where Helen and Jules got it from) and pretended he didn’t notice them feeding Oscar their vegetables. She held onto his memory. No way in Hell was she going to let it go.

“Dad might not be here anymore, but he’ll always be with us Tiberius,” she said firmly, one hand over her heart. “As long as we keep him in our memories and in our hearts, dad will always be here. All of us together again, it’s the way it always should have been.”

“STOP LYING!” Ty shot up from his chair, his arms swiping at his notes and books at the desk and sending them crashing to the floor. Livia jumped, startled at his sudden outburst, but kept her ground and her eyes on him. No matter how angry he had gotten in the past never had he neglected his works like that. Everything he had kept so carefully organized and put together for so many years now lay in a mess on the carpet, book pages bent at awkward angles from the fall and notes scattered. Her twin’s hands grabbed at his hair, his cheeks heating with colour. Livia could hear the laughing downstairs quiet as he yelled, voice echoing between the walls of their bedroom and into the hall. “He isn’t! Father is dead!  _Julian killed him and I hate him!_ ”

“Ty, please –”

“Why can’t you understand this, Livia? Julian murdered our father in front of us all and he was given proper funeral rights and burned in Alicante. He is not here with us. You can try to call us a family all you’d like but that will not change the fact that we aren’t and we  ** _never will be again!_ ”**

His words hung in a suddenly dreadful silence. Tiberius stood clenching his hair with his hands balled into fists, and while she couldn’t take her eyes away he couldn’t even look in her direction. Instead he looked everywhere else: the floor, the ceiling, the mess he made of his books near the desk. Livia’s heart raced in her chest, tears brimming in her eyes, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe properly. For once her twin had stunned her so much that the words she had prepared to say were trapped on her tongue and lodged in her throat, never to be said aloud simply because she couldn’t.

Ty lowered his hands from his hair after a moment of heavy breathing and knelt to collect his scattered belongings, his back facing her. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He grumbled, then said without hesitation, “and I don’t want you here.”

Livia took a small step backwards, trying to not let herself be so affected by his words and failing miserably. He was speaking from his anger and that was all. It was all of this pent up frustration; sooner or later he was bound to burst. But even if it was justified, which she was having a hard time convincing herself that it was, it didn’t make it any less painful to hear him say that to her. “Fine,” she whispered, voice hardly a shaky whisper, and when he didn’t seem to acknowledge he heard her she turned on her heels and left the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

The kitchen was the quietest that it had ever been when she walked in, streaks of tears on her cheeks. Her siblings were gathered in multiple areas; around the counters and seated at the table. Helen and Mark were leaning their backs against the counter, staring at her with their brows furrowed in unmasked helplessness and beside them was Aline, her head bowed toward fidgeting fingers. Drusilla was at the table and refusing to look in her direction. Emma had her arms crossed over her chest, cheeks lit red with unmistakable rage, and she was standing behind her  _parabatai_. It looked like it was taking all she had to control herself from bursting into Ty and Livia’s bedroom and giving her twin a piece of her mind. Regardless of how Livvy felt toward him at the moment – she would not let that happen.

“Jules,” Livvy said, swallowing thickly. “Jules, I’m so sorry you heard –”

“It’s fine, Liv,” He clipped, rising from where he sat with an unreadable expression. There was that look in his eyes that he had tried to hide from them all many times in the past, one they all had seen anyway. It was bitter with self-loathing and guilt. He dug into the pocket of his jeans, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and promptly walked out of the kitchen without another word. Emma, nearly shaking in her anger, followed suit immediately. Livia did not miss the withering look Emma shot up the hall as she passed.

Nobody else said a word.

Mark let it go for a while. Tension traveled between the Blackthorn’s that remained for the evening, wrung tight like stretched rope about to snap. Helen and Aline hung around in the kitchen talking quietly amongst themselves – his sister sometimes singing quietly to herself as he always remembered her doing year’s back, as she prepared a meal; and her wife perched on the counter, occasionally handing her things whenever she needed them. Drusilla hadn’t left the table, her hand shooting across her notebook, filling page after page with unspoken thoughts and deep seeded creativity. The other’s had yet to return, and while Mark had an idea of where Livvy and Ty were separately brooding, Julian and Emma had seemingly disappeared.

Aline offered him a small smile when he returned, and Helen turned to look over her shoulder. “I made up a plate for Tibs,” she said, pointing to it at the counter. “I didn’t think he would want to come down, but he needs to eat something.”

“He wouldn’t,” Mark answered automatically, moving to grab it. “I’ll take it up to him. Did Livvy show up yet?”

“No,” sighed Aline, “and Jules and Emma have been up on the roof since this morning.”

“I’ll go find Liv and talk to her,” Helen said, dusting off her hands. “Mind taking over sweetie?” Aline hopped off the counter and mumbled her affirmative, and Helen pecked her on the lips before she turned to leave. He took that as his signal to leave as well, and when he tried to smile at Dru before he exited he couldn’t grab her attention. Halfway down the hallway he heard Aline say something from the kitchen, though he couldn’t make out what, and when he heard Dru giggle he sighed in exasperation and continued on his way to Ty and Livia’s bedroom, plate of food balanced in his hand. Drusilla had always taken an immediate liking to her new sister-in-law since the day they met, Mark observed. She seemed to respond more to her than anybody else in the family.

Tiberius was unsurprisingly sitting at his desk when Mark entered his room, his head bowed over one of his textbooks. Mark stood in the doorway for a moment, observing the way his younger brother’s fingers tapped against the page and the way his leg bounced up and down – two obvious signs of irritation. He knocked lightly against the doorframe before he entered, just in case he startled him, and took a deep breath. “Hey little brother,” he greeted quietly, taking a few hesitant steps forward, “I brought you something to eat if you got hungry.”

Silence.

Mark pressed his lips in a thin line. “I’ll just set it here, then,” he continued, lowering the plate onto the desk his half-brother was seated at, careful of his books and array of notes. Growing frustrated when Ty didn’t respond, though he wasn’t sure why he was so surprised, Mark sighed and pulled out the extra chair to take a seat. Tiberius’ fingers stopped tapping. “Look, Ty…all of us downstairs, we heard what happened with you and Livia. Even Julian.”

Still, more silence.

“Livvy took off, you know. None of us are sure where she went, but Helen’s looking for her now. She hasn’t come out since this morning,” Mark continued, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands. Tiberius looked up at him at the sound of his twin’s name, finally, his brow furrowed. “What you said really hurt her, Tiberius. You know that, right?”

“No,” said Ty, shaking his head vehemently, “no, I couldn’t have hurt her. I wouldn’t.”

“She came downstairs crying after your fight,” Mark persisted gently. He knew, better than most that one had to tread carefully around his younger brother, like walking on egg shells. The simplest of things could set him off. Tiberius continued to shake his head, hands gripping his book tightly and grey eyes downcast. “I know you don’t realize it, but what happened earlier, everything you said to her, she’s hurt. More than that. I saw the way she looked, Ty, she was heartbroken.”

“But…I just don’t understand why? What did I say that hurt her? I didn’t mean to.” Tiberius glanced up at him again, his knee bouncing more erratically than before. He looked so young again, Mark thought, confused by his own actions – like he was ten years old again. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. Mark, I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, little brother,” he said calmly, a pang in his heart. “I know. You were right when you said we would never be a family again. Everyone…everything has changed so much and nothing is the same. Father and Katerina are gone. But the rest of us – we’re back together now. Things won’t go back to how they were all those years ago, because they can’t, but what matters is that we’re all here. And you have to understand that what Julian did was necessary.”

“He killed our father.”

“Yes, he did. He did, but if he didn’t…have you thought about what might have happened?” Mark asked, his tone growing dark. Tiberius averted his gaze again to his book. For a moment he thought he would ignore him again and start reading, but he dismissed it when his younger brother squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Mark took his silence as a means to go further. “That man you saw at the battle in Idris, that wasn’t our father. If Julian hadn’t stopped him he would have killed you, or Liv, without blinking. I’ve seen it. Sebastian Morgenstern had turned him dark the day the institute was attacked. Dad forced me on my knees that day and laughed, would have killed me too. Julian did what he had to do because he loves you. I would have done the same exact thing.” He rose to his feet then, and took a deep breath before turning to take his exit. “Just something to think about. Talk to Livia.”

Mark left the door open behind him. Tiberius sat and stared at the empty hallway long after Mark was gone, fingers holding the corners of his book in a white-knuckled grip as he processed all that he had been told. It was hard for him to understand completely, but what his older brother had said earlier echoed in his mind.  _His father would have killed him_. His father would have killed him, and Livia would live the rest of her life without him – hurt, as she was now. It was almost an unbearable thought to have to live without your twin; he wouldn’t dare imagine it.

Tiberius did not want his sister to be hurt anymore. Not ever. So he closed his book and he stood.

He knew exactly where she would be.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr for fic requests at: helen-blackthorn !


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